Letting Go of Guilt: How to Move On and Thrive

Is there something you're afraid might happen if you stopped being so hard on yourself?

While we've been taught that feeling bad, guilty, or ashamed shows we care about our mistakes, this belief deserves closer examination. In my many years working with individuals who follow this erroneous belief, I've noticed that feeling bad doesn't necessarily change the behaviors that led to the mistake.

Even if you feel guilty, it doesn't change the belief that caused your misdeed. Instead, it keeps you stuck in the past without making any real changes in the present.

Natural guilt is feeling bad about a mistake and then letting it go. Unnatural guilt, which many people thrive on, keeps you feeling bad without actually changing anything.

Put the bat down! It's time to stop beating yourself up about the past. Apologize to yourself or others and try to right any wrongs. Then, move on. Practice revising the past situation by imagining yourself doing the "right thing" you wish you had done. Play this over in your mind a few times to reinforce different behavior the next time a similar situation arises.

Explore the beliefs that led to your mistake and change them by recognizing their futility. This is a sure path to liberation from personal suffering.

See you next week, Peace!